Australia will gain a new public holiday next year to be held in early March, in honour of the humble pokie machine. Every citizen will be encouraged to spend a dollar or a pay cheque in support of the machine.

A spokesperson for the gaming industry told The (un)Australian: “Australians love to gamble, I mean Victoria has a holiday in honour of a horse race and also a football match, so why not for the good old pokie machine?”

“The pokies give so much to the community, much needed tax dollars, a place for pensioners to while away the hours and without them the Whitlams would be short a hit song.”

When reached for comment, the NSW government came out in support of the national pokie holiday, saying: “People work hard and they should be given the time to gamble hard. Pokie machines give people the chance to blow off some steam, maybe win a dollar or two and at the same time contribute to the state economy and Clubs NSW bottom line.

“They do great work you know, I mean have you tried the West Wyatta RSL’s $15 all you can eat Chinese buffet? Great stuff, the diggers would be proud!”

An anti-gaming spokesperson was reached for comment, but gave a confusing answer when asked whether they supported the move, saying “don’t bet on it”.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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