In a mass case of buyers remorse, Liberal voters across Australia are seeking refunds on their purchase after the “Malcolm Turnbull Prime Minister” failed to do what it promised.
ACCC spokesperson Melinda Crummy told The (un)Australian that Australians by law could ask for a replacement, refund or repair to a product or service that “fails to do what it promised or does not meet reasonable expectations”.
Bernie Williams from Willoughby is leading a class action for refunds, insisting: “When we bought the Malcolm Turnbull it made all of these fantastic promises of things it could do like marriage equality, an Australian republic, climate change action and fixing of the economy, unfortunately the current model hasn’t been able to fix any of these, so myself and my fellow Liberal supporters have asked for a refund.”
In a statement, the Liberal Party responded: “The Liberal Party of Australia has been made aware that some constituents are unhappy with the Malcolm Turnbull that they bought, unfortunately we are not able to offer refunds at this time, but we have offered the complainants replacement PMs, with their choice of either the Tony Abbott or the Christopher Pyne Models.
“So far the constituents we have been in contact with have rejected both models and we are still working with them and we are hoping for a satisfactory conclusion for all parties soon.”
Some Liberal Party members have taken matters into their own hands by trying to repair their Malcolm Turnbull. Brian Creegan from Epping told The (un)Australian: “I’m pretty good at tinkering with things in my local Men’s Shed, but bugger me we spent hours trying to fix the Malcolm Turnbull we purchased but we could never get it to work properly, the model we have is from 1954 so its impossible to get parts.
“The Liberal Party either has to bring in a updated model or scrap this model completely and start again.”
Consumers who have purchased the Malcolm Turnbull PM who are unhappy with their purchase or find it not working to their satisfaction should contact their local member immediately.
Gus W Templeton