A new poll shows over 99% of Australians are in favour of exporting Barnaby Joyce live to Indonesia.
“I’d be willing to go down to the docks and help load him onto the boat in person,” said New England voter Mitchell Clump. “As long as they promise to set him loose in the middle of some jungle in Borneo and we never have to see him again.”
“I’m rather concerned by that Four Corners episode where they showed the inhumane treatment of Australian cattle,” said Armidale farmer Trevor Gumboot. “I’d like to get assurances from the Indonesian government that Barnaby will be treated with equal inhumanity.”
The Australian public is preparing a “put out your tomatoes” campaign in memorial should Barnaby Joyce be bundled into a cage and shipped to Sumatra.
In a surprising development ,Joyce has been named as a third party in the break up of the marriage of actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
“The sooner that Johnny and Barnaby get a hotel room the better,” said a frustrated Heard. “All Johnny has done since our trip to Australian is fantasise about Barnaby Joyce dressed up in a hockey mask like Hannibal Lechter.”
The Indonesian government has promised to crack down on the export of refugees to Australia if the Australian government promises to crack down on live export of footy teams to Bali.