Greg Hunt has assured the United Nations that Australia’s dodo population are thriving and there is no need to place them on a list of endangered species.
“Everything’s fine down here, we’ve got dodos up the wazoo,” said the Minister for the Environment in a phone call to the UN. “Ouch. Sorry I’ve got to hang up now, I’ve just been bitten on the bum by a Tasmanian tiger.”
“We’d heard that dodos were getting kind of rare but Greg has certainly laid our fears to rest,” said UNESCO’s endangered species spokesperson Wilhelm Auk. “We were also chuffed to find out that brontosaurus racing is still the most popular sport in Australia.”
Millions of dodo enthusiasts are expected to book holidays down under in the wake of Mr Hunt’s announcement.
“I can’t wait to touchdown at Sydney airport and see huge flocks of dodos swarming the tarmac,” said Muriel Deadas, president of the International Dodo Fanciers Society. “I’m also looking forward to visiting Monkey Mia to go swimming with the plesiosaurs.”
In an effort to end discrimination against people with reduced chromatic perception, Mr Hunt has announced that the Great Barrier Reef has been purposely bleached white so that colour blind people can enjoy it just as much as people with normal vision.