Bill Shorten To Change His Name To Donkey


In what some people are calling the longest and most boring election campaign in history, it finally looks like there could be an interesting twist. Documents leaked exclusively to The (un)Australian reveal that with less than 2 weeks left until Australians head to the polls, Bill Shorten is about to change his name to Donkey.

Political Analyst Geoffrey Quinn told The (un)Australian, that this could be a genius move from the Labor leader; “The Australian Public are fatigued by the current political process and they don’t see any real difference between the two parties or the two leaders, recent polls suggest that up to 30% of the Australian public are planning on lodging a Donkey vote, which if added to Labors current 37% approval rate would give Bill Shorten a majority in the House of Representatives”

It’s believed that Labor is trying to tap in to apathetic voters who just don’t care about Labor, politics in general or the outcome.

While Labor insiders are yet to confirm this new strategy not one member has denied the leak.

No word yet on whether PM Malcolm Turnbull is planning on changing his name to “I Don’t care, Donald Duck, Me, None of the above, Jonathon Thurston or just the symbol of en erect penis”

According to The Macquarie English dictionary the definition of Donkey is “a stupid, silly, or obstinate person”

Gus W Templeton

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Categories: Politics

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