Tony Abbott Put In Charge Of Fish Tank

'It is was all very well that Triggs has her “personal views” against forcing children to endure horrific conditions, but as a Human Rights Commissioner, she was must be more impartial.'

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott, fresh off a back flipping tour of Europe, has been announced as the head of a new fish tank, which has been bought and paid for by a wealthy benefactor to the Liberal Party.

Speaking to The (un)Australian as he got off the plane in speedos, Mr Abbott said of his new position: “It is an honour to be put in charge of this fish tank and I promise to uphold the principles and ideals for which Australians hold dearly.

“My first order of business will be to remove the little sunken boat in the fish tank and replace it with something more in line with Australian values, a replica of Buckingham palace complete with a statue of Sir Prince Philip.”

It was initially reported that Mr Abbott would head up a ‘think-tank’ to further the cause of the Western Canon, however the benefactor cleared this up explaining: “We rushed the press release and you know spell check it changed ‘Fish tank’ to ‘Think-tank’ I’m surprised anyone actually reported that, I mean Abbott and thinking don’t really go together, remember all the captain’s calls?

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MWOh44

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Categories: Politics

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