The One Nation Party candidate hoping to fill Rod Culleton’s senate position should his election be found invalid has put out a desperate plea to the remaining members of the party not to hog all the looniness before he has a chance to get up and start mouthing off in parliament.
“Between Pauline and her halal gear, Rod Cullerton hiding cars in haystacks, Malcolm Roberts and his whole Nazis living inside a hollow earth theory and whatever the heck the fourth guy is up to, I’m going to be left with nothing loopy to say at all,” complained Peter Georgiou. “I’m going to have to propose bringing back witch hunting or putting clothes on farm animals to protect their modesty if I’m going to generate any kind of excitement when I make my maiden speech.”
“I’m sure we’ve only scratched the surface of the iceberg in terms of nutbaggery,” said party leader Pauline Hanson. “If Peter puts his mind to it I’m confident he’ll find plenty of whacked out ideas to insert into the national conversation. I’m thinking a Royal Commission into the Reptillians? Anyone?”
Questions have been raised into Hanson’s ability to screen the credentials of people applying to become One Nation representatives, with rank-and-file voters concerned that she may be letting a few sane people slip through the net and into positions of authority.
“Peter has to think outside the square like I did when I floated my Patriotic Broadcasting Service proposal,” said NSW senator Brian Burston. “A good way to do this is to think of it as a rhombus rather than a square. I’m only considered the fourth screwiest guy in the party and even getting to that position was hard work.”