Australia’s figurehead Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today been chastised by members of his own party after he dared look to the left whilst crossing the road.
Said Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt: “The Prime Minister continues to show such contempt for the right. Was it really necessary for him to look left whilst crossing the road, I mean what did he think would happen, Tony Abbott would run him down in a Taxi driven by Mark Latham?”
“The Prime Minister is paranoid, as a show of penance might I suggest he consider amputating his left arm?”
Tasmanian Senator Eric Abetz also concurred with Mr Bolt, saying: “If Malcolm didn’t have a left arm then he would not need to look to the left and then we could take him, I mean he could lead a good Government dominated by the right.”
The Prime Minister could not be reached for comment as he was currently in Mackay mowing George Christensen’s lawn.