Hanson Concerned About Pakistani “Terror-Wrist” Spinner, Yasir Shah

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One Nation have released a statement asking the Australian government to deport Pakistani leg spin bowler, Yasir Shah, after they became aware of his notoriety during Thursday’s coverage of the first test.

The controversial political party claim that Australian immigration have let him into the country, knowing full well that he is a “terror-wrist spinner”.

“We simply can’t have these people in our country”, said an articulate, and well-dressed Pauline Hanson. “How this man is not on an ASIO or CA wanted list… it’s beyond me”.

Whilst the PCB, believe to the organisation claiming control over Shah, have yet to comment, One Nation have seen this as an act of guilt.

“So far, our sources have said that he is ‘deadly’, ‘deceptive’ and ‘full of guile’. Our country just simply can’t allow people of this nature into out county”, Pauline went on to say.

A local constituent of Pauline Hanson, who only wanted to be identified as “Gus”, voiced outrage at the lax laws allowing Yasir Shah into the country.

“Let’s face it, 50 bucks says he doesn’t f*** off, and then takes jobs away from hard working Aussie spin bowlers. Like Fawad Ahmed!”

Police have admitted to receiving several calls to Crime Stoppers from “nasally as fuck” Queenslanders, after becoming concerned that 11 bearded immigrants were planning a “full on assault” at Brisbane’s Gabba Stadium.

Whilst the fate of Yasir Shah is still unknown, a petition started by an unknown clergyman, Reverend Warner has suggested activating our 48 hour detainment measures. Although the Reverend suggested these only be used on “day four and five of the Sydney Test” (sic).

 

G K Kidd

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