Ambassador Joe Hockey has proudly announced that the first episode of his new cable TV show about Australian US friendship will focus on the time the American poisoned Pharlap.
“I couldn’t think of a better way to commemorate 100 years of camaraderie between our two nations than that time our fellow ANZUS brothers in arms caused the slow and painful death of our champion racehorse,” said the avuncular Mr Hockey as he unveiled the scripts for his new show Mateship: 100 Years Of A Valued Relationship Between Aussies And The Seppo Wankers. “If this doesn’t heal the rift between the two most loyal allies in the western world I don’t know what will.”
Future episodes of the series will be about 1942’s Battle of Brisbane between US and Australian servicemen, the “drive over the bastards” incident in 1966 when LBJ visited Sydney and the time Australia got revenge for the Pharlap murder by sending Julian McMahon over to become a star on American television.
“We know that Mr Trump likes to watch the television and if he ever gets tired of watching Saturday Night Live he might just flick the channel over and find this show,” said the ambassador who is known as Joe Field Hockey in the states. “We may even follow this up with a similar show for the benefit of Theresa May in the UK which will be about bodyline and the time they abandoned us during the fall of Singapore.”
Malcolm Turnbull spent the weekend with New Zealand Prime Minister Bill English in which the ANZUS alliance was strengthened by repeated chats about the 1981 underarm delivery.