A Cronulla woman has been caught on video violently deporting a shark from a local rock pool. The immigrant shark had breached the pool’s border, but was swiftly captured and ejected before it could attempt to claim asylum.
“These sharks, they’re coming in by the droves, stealing our jobs and pushing up rental prices”, the woman told Channel 7’s Sunrise.
Senator Cory Bernardi has applauded the woman’s move, stating that he had reports that the shark was planning a terrorist attack. “We’ve seen footage of terrorists planning on using ‘sharks with fricken laser beams’ to attack the freedoms of overseas democracies,” Bernaditold a press conference.
Australian border police are on high alert, employing Mick Fanning as a government consultant to help with the issue.
GK Kidd
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.
Categories: News
“No Guarantee Next Week Will Be Any Better” Say World’s Men 
Singleton Truck Driver Gets Job With Linfox 
Women Grilled On Responsibility For Sex Crimes 
Existence Of New Blade Runner Movie Implanted Into Minds Of World’s Nerds 
Leave a Reply