Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has outlined his vision for the Nation and it includes Australia leading the world in selling arms and bootlegging.
“What an exciting time to be an Australian arms dealer or bootlegger,” said the Prime Minister. “This Nation makes great hooch and I look forward to smuggling it around the world in a bid to create jobs and growth.”
When asked whether arms dealing and bootlegging were the most ethical businesses to enter into the Prime Minister replied: “There is nothing more honest than a person brewing a batch of moonshine in their backyard shed. Sure there’ll be the occasional dodgy batch that might make your hair go straight or your heart stop beating but that’s all in the fun of it.”
“Besides bootlegging hooch is a much more honest industry than others like car manufacturing. Did you hear that they are using monkeys to test emission levels. Appalling, our bootleggers won’t do that they’ll test their home brews on their mates at backyard barbecues.”
Opposition leader Bill Shorten when reached for comment referred us to his deputy, Tony Abbott.