France Makes Affairs Between Ministers And Staff Compulsory

Following a scandal where it was revealed that the nation’s deputy Prime Minister was going home to his wife each evening, French President Emmanuel Macron has passed a law making it a sackable offence for a cabinet minister not to be having an affair.

“The people of France expect their elected officials to meet certain standards of behaviour,” said Mr Macron after it was revealed that deputy PM Barnoise le Joyce had impregnated his own wife. “Mr le Joyce is paid a very high salary on the understanding that he uses that money to keep his mistress well maintained in a chateau on the Riviera, not frittering it away on flowers and expensive dinners with his wife.”

The leader of the French Conservative Party has confounded his followers by suggesting that it may be perfectly alright for a cabinet minister not to be having an affair.

“I know of one minister who is not having a torrid affair with her chauffer and she still manages to conduct the duties of her office with capability,” said Bernard Le Coeur. “In the rough and tumble of politics sometimes one cannot help being seduced by the thought of a home cooked meal and sleeping in a bed where you have worn yourself a convenient groove.”

The move has proven popular with the women of France, who were outraged by le Joyce’s very public humiliation of his mistress.

“His mistress has stood by him doing all the hard work sneaking around arranging liaisons in pensiones over the years, and this is how he repays her,” said furious French woman Michelle Deneuve. “He owes her an apology and a good three day long dirty weekend in Nice.”

Peter Green

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Categories: Politics

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