The (un)Australian‘s Person of the Year award is one of the most anticipated events of the year, with defamation lawyers everywhere especially keen to see the list. This year Team (un)Australian spent weeks/months/all year putting off putting together the list and have come up with the most comprehensive list compiled since Buzzfeed Australia’s list of the 17 Most Amazing Emma Watson Gifs You Need Right Now.
If you disagree with our list of nominees, then please leave a comment below with your nomination. So without further ado, here is this year’s nominees:
An unselfish team player. Doesn’t like to take all the credit. Was happy to let Cameron Bancroft do the sandpapering, rather then step into the spotlight himself. Was also prepared for the whole leadership team to be credited with the sandpaper plan. He’s as Australian as they come. What could be more Australian than to get your competitive edge from Bunnings. Usually the WAGs have to sit in the background while the men take all the media attention. Not David. He’s happy for his wife to speak on his behalf whenever he’s in trouble or if any of the other boys say something mean about him.
This was the year that Peter learn’t how to smile. It was also the year that he learn’t that his friend Matthias Cormann did not know how to count. Australia was shocked to learn that 35 of his colleagues thought that he would make a good Prime Minister. Thankfully the final horcrux was found and the Minister for the Dark Arts was defeated by the one they call #ScoMo.
Parliament House’s Sign Painter
The hardest working person in parliament is definitely not a politician it’s the person charged with writing the politician’s names on the office doors. We hope that now that parliament has wound up for the year that they are relaxing with a beer after finally dotting the “i”s and crossing the “t”s on that lengthy “Assistant Minister To The Deputy Prime Minister” job from August. Here’s to next year where hopefully they know how to spell Albanese.
The year 2018 started out with the entire nation being fed details of Barnaby Joyce’s sex life. Whilst Barnaby went to the backbench the rest of Australia finished up vomiting just in time to hear details of Barnaby’s colleague Andrew Broad’s overseas sexual escapades (pass me the bucket). They say Labor swings to the left and the Liberals swing to the right those National’s well they’re just happy to swing all night.
*Peter Dutton was ruled ineligible for this award under sub section 44c of the awards statute. In that he could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that he was not in fact a potato.
On behalf of Team (un)Australia thank you for visiting the site and have a great festive season, we will be back early January with the all the best news, analysis and plagiarism.
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Is there some award we can produce for SloMo? Presented himself as a moderate compared to Dutton in the leadership challenge, then immediately started channeling Dutton when he got the job.
Not dissimilar to Turnbull presenting himself as “not being Tony” then running all Tony’s policies. 🙂
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The Member for Mallee was just keeping up that good old Australian term, ‘Like a Mallee Bull’
When you have mastered the use of the apostrophe your rather nice wit will be much more enjoyable. Please consider.
ScoMo surely deserves an honourable mention for criticising members of a religion for not reporting criminal activity, all the while, members of his own church kept silent about their leader abusing children.
F**K you Jackie. ScoMo has done so much for our country, we just don’t want to admit it.