The NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has announced that her Government will be putting on an all ages pokies festival, that will tour around the State. They hope that it will lead children away from dangerous music festivals and into the more safer environment of being a pokies addict.
“We have heard people complaining that there is just nothing to do in NSW and we have acted with our new all ages pokies festival,” said Premier Berejiklian. “What a chance for the kiddies to get a to play the pokies. Sure they will probably lose all their pocket money but there is a chance that they might actually win.”
When asked how leading children to gambling is a positive outcome given that one in four suicides is attributed to gambling addiction the Premier replied: “One in four, I like those odds. Certainly better than the chance of people dying from taking a dodgy pill.”
“People in this State need to lighten up, go to your local club get some complimentary peanuts and shove your pay packet down a pokie. In fact that might just be our new State motto: Shove Your Pay Packet Down A Pokie!”
The new all ages pokies festival will launch in late February. Entry will be free however those attending will be expected to gamble their body weight in gold coins.