The Morrison Government has moved quickly to reassure the victims of the horrific bush fires currently raging through Queensland and New South Wales that they will be fully resourced with thoughts and prayers.
With the decision made to reallocate thoughts and prayers previously assigned to the drought and the NDIS in the budget.
“My Government is doing all it can to help those affected by the bush fires in making sure they have an adequate supply of thoughts and prayers,” said the Prime Minister. “Thoughts and prayers don’t just grow on trees you know.”
“We have to manage them to ensure that we get them to those who need it most.”
When asked why he was focusing on thoughts and prayers when maybe financial assistance or a long term plan focusing on climate change might be a better approach the Prime Minister said: “Thoughts and prayers are a practical and effective way of dealing with tragedies. Look at America they do it after every mass shooting and it seems to work.”
“Besides prayer works. I prayed to be Prime Minister and here I am.”