Sky News Celebrates Record Ratings, Thanks All 3 New Viewers

Niche news network Sky News Australia has issued a press release to announce record high levels of ratings following their round the clock coverage of condemning Meghan Markle.

”What an achievement to gain a whole new 3 viewers,” said a Sky News Spokesperson. ”If we keep this up we may even dare I say it crack the elusive double digit viewing mark.”

When asked given their huge advertising spend why they continued to rate so low, the Sky news Spokesperson said: ”How dare you, why just last night Bolt had almost half the viewers of a M*A*S*H rerun.”

”Our network is a leader in it’s field with the best set of nutcases this side of the asylum.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to source a life-size cut out of Meghan Markle for Rowan Dean to, well, I’m not sure what he’ll do with it and to be honest it’s best not to ask.”

Mark Williamson

www.twitter.com/MWChatShow

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