Niche news network Sky News Australia has issued a press release to announce record high levels of ratings following their round the clock coverage of condemning Meghan Markle.
”What an achievement to gain a whole new 3 viewers,” said a Sky News Spokesperson. ”If we keep this up we may even dare I say it crack the elusive double digit viewing mark.”
When asked given their huge advertising spend why they continued to rate so low, the Sky news Spokesperson said: ”How dare you, why just last night Bolt had almost half the viewers of a M*A*S*H rerun.”
”Our network is a leader in it’s field with the best set of nutcases this side of the asylum.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to source a life-size cut out of Meghan Markle for Rowan Dean to, well, I’m not sure what he’ll do with it and to be honest it’s best not to ask.”
Mark Williamson
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The (un)Australian 
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