Perennial failure, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has headed off to India this week on official Government business, despite not being in Government. Mr Dutton is planning on telling everyone he meets in India to not bother to come to Australia as we are full.

”This is a stroke of political genius by Peter or should I say Prime Minister Dutton,” said Sky News sycophant Paul Murray. ”Talk about throwing red meat to the base.”

”I can see the polling numbers going through the roof in Queensland.”

When asked why the Opposition leader was heading overseas when polling results show that he should be spending more time in the country that actually votes for him, sycophant Murray said: ”Peter doesn’t need to press the flesh, kiss a few babies or strangle a puppy or two.”

”In fact, the further away from the general public he is the better chance he has of increasing his numbers.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear Albo grabbed an ice cream today and chose mint choc chip. What a massive insult to our strawberry ice cream producers I must do a show ranting about this.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: immigration, India, Insiders, Opposition Leader, Paul Murray, Peter Dutton, Puppy Strangler, QandA, Queensland, Red Meat To The Base, satire, Sky News, The Dark Lord, Voldemort