Exhausted Australians, many of whom are limping their way to the finish line that is the end of the 2023 working year, have woken up to Opposition leader Peter Dutton being plastered wall to wall on the Nation’s TV networks ranting about whatever he is angry about today.
”Who knows what old mate Pete is angry about today,” said Leichardt plasterer Ian ‘Patches’ Dawall. ”It’s always something, the economy, nuclear energy, Barnaby’s wedding, a dog that looked at him funny.”
”It never ends, dude needs to chill out and maybe give it a rest till the election.”
When reached for comment on why he is always so angry, the Opposition leader took a break from berating a toddler to say: ”To label me perpetually angry is both an insult and a smear from the Albanese government.”
”This country is heading in the wrong direction and only I, and Angus can fix it.”
”We need to take back water rights and give them to their traditional owners, the Nationals.”
”The fact that kids in Western Sydney and other Labor held electorates aren’t growing up beside a nuclear reactor brings a tear to my eye.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a press conference to attend and I need to find out from my advisors what to shout about.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
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