The Opposition’s perpetually outraged leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a nation wide boycott of stationery supplier Officeworks after discovering that they did not stock Mr Potato Head branded pencil cases.

”This is an outrageous attack on ordinary, everyday working Australians,” said the Opposition leader. ”That a man can’t go down to Officeworks to do some back to parliament shopping with his wife and get his desired pencil case is appalling.”

”I notice the Prime Minister is tellingly silent over all of this.”

When asked if he seriously believed that businesses should stock whatever the Opposition leader believed they should stock despite low sales, the member for Dickson said: ”Absolutely, businesses should not bow down to the inner-city leftist woke elites.”

”Instead, they should bow down to the boycotting anti-woke right.”

”When I come to power I will be a benevolent dictator who believes in free markets.”

”Markets that are free to do as I demand.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a stressful day so I’m off to the dog park to strangle a few puppies.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: 2gb, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia day, Back To School, Boycott, Elites, Insiders, Mr Potato Head, Officeworks, outrage, Peter Dutton, QandA, Sunrise, Today