Malcolm Turnbull has begun the process of buttering up the independent candidates he may require to form government by phoning Cathy McGowan and praising her work as lead singer of The Pogues. “I got my butler to phone her up… Read More ›
News
Pauline Hanson To Hold Unbalance Of Power
Nearly thirty years after Joh Bjelke-Petersen failed in his attempt to become PM, Pauline Hanson and Bob Katter have finally realised his dream of putting batshit crazy Queenslanders into positions of power in Canberra. “We’ll only pass legislation if security… Read More ›
Malcolm Turnbull Looking Forward To Playing Apprentice Tricks On New MPs
Malcolm Turnbull is looking forward to playing lots of tricks on apprentice members of parliament during their first day on the job after taking a slight lead in the polls. “I can’t wait to send one of the new guys… Read More ›
Britain To Make New Series Of ‘On The Buses’ As It Returns To 1973
The British television industry has responded to the Brexit vote by commissioning a new series of sitcom favourite On The Buses, last made in 1973 — the year Britain entered the Common Market. “Brussels banned production of the show about cheeky bus… Read More ›
Sydney Millionaire Sets Up Crowd Funding Page For New Pool
The storms that this week ravaged Sydney’s coast not only destroyed waterfront homes and surf clubs, but some residences were left teetering on cliffs and entire swimming pools have gone missing. One millionaire has set up his own crowd funding… Read More ›
Australian Academics All Spontaneously Post Statuses Praising Australian Flag
In a sudden outburst of uncoordinated patriotism, all academics employed at Australian universities have spontaneously posted statuses on social media this morning lavishing praise on the Australian flag. The nation awoke to previously unheard of heard of heights of nationalist… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 