Organisers of this year’s Australian Open have warned spectators not to needle anti-vac competitor Novak Djokovic when he is on court. ”Look, people need to respect Novak and his beliefs,” said a Spokesperson for the event. ”He is a champion… Read More ›
News
Dutton Tells People To Slip A Pineapple In Their Next Gas Bill To Say Thank You
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has told Australian’s to slip a pineapple into their next gas bill as a way to say thank you to the countries gas producers. ”This country owes a debt of gratitude to our… Read More ›
World Leaders Stunned To Learn That ScoMo Has Appointed Himself As Their New Warm Up Act
World Leaders signed up to the same speaking agency as former minister for health/industry/innovation/finance and part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison were stunned to learn that the former PM had appointed himself as their warm up act. ”There is nothing harder… Read More ›
Dutton Calls On Chinese Checkers To Be Renamed Freedom Checkers
The Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has called upon the popular board game Chinese Checkers to be renamed ‘Freedom Checkers’ in an effort to punish China for the ongoing animosity between the two counntries. ”I am appalled that… Read More ›
ScoMo & His Creepy Mate Invite Newly Single Rupert To A Boys Weekend In Manilla
Former PM Scott Morrison and his creepy mate George Christensen have reached out to their newly single mate, Rupert Murdoch to invite him away to a boys weekend in the Philippino capital of Manilla. ”Scott and I’s boys weekends tend… Read More ›
Greens Demand Australia Be Renamed As The “Us” In Australia Is Offensive To The Chronically Single
Greens Leader Adam Bandt has called upon the Prime Minister to rename the country as the use of “us” in Australia could be offensive to the chronically single. ”For too long, this country’s single people have been left behind,” said… Read More ›