Pat Cummins’ dream of finally wearing his baggy green more than once edged closer to reality today, with Cricket Australia announcing that he would be 12th man for the first test against Pakistan on Dec 15. The 12th man role… Read More ›
Australia
Obnoxious Rabble Ejected From Parliament Identified As “The Senate”
There have been calls for tighter security at parliament house in Canberra after a loud, ill disciplined mob known as “The Senate” briefly took over the running of the country. “I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of freaks, hillbillies and… Read More ›
“Letting My Ancestors Into The Country Was A Bad Mistake,” Says Peter Dutton
Australia is still paying the price for whoever the knucklehead was who let my ancestors into the country, admitted Peter Dutton in a candid speech to parliament yesterday. “Imagine how much better Australia’s standing in the world would be if… Read More ›
Turnbull Assures Trump That Australia Is Still “Toady In Chief” To The USA
Malcolm Turnbull has called surprise US election winner Donald Trump to congratulate him on his victory and to assure him that comments he made earlier in the campaign where he described Trump as a “massive boofhead” and “thicker than pig’s… Read More ›
Nation’s Newsreaders Bitterly Divided Over Who Will Win Melbourne Cup
Australia’s newsreaders will head into Tuesday’s Melbourne Cup with wildly diverging predictions about who will win the nation’s most famous horse race. “I always hold back placing my bet until I’ve heard what the breakfast show hosts and the trusted… Read More ›
Census Fail Leaves Australia With No Clue Of Jedi Population
The Australian Bureau of Statistics has admitted that the debacle over the 2016 Census has left frustrated infrastructure planners with no idea how many Jedi Knights there are in the country. “Census data is vital in determining how the nation’s… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 