Australia is still paying the price for whoever the knucklehead was who let my ancestors into the country, admitted Peter Dutton in a candid speech to parliament yesterday.
“Imagine how much better Australia’s standing in the world would be if my great great grandparents had had their papers stamped GO HOME when they first tried to emigrate here from the land of the potato headed people,” said the Minister for Immigration and Looking Creepy in Photographs. “Right now we wouldn’t have the situation where one of the highest profile members of the cabinet has sniffed the political air and decided that full blown racist is the prevailing odor.”
Dutton’s statement has sparked immediate protests from the community, especially from other descendents of immigrants from the land of the potato headed people.
“My family has provided nothing but joy and happiness for millions of Australian children,” said popular kids toy Mr Potato Head. “Not all of us are enthusiastic bullies and sadists. Mr Dutton has ignored the hours of pleasure we’ve provided to young folk who want to experiment with what a potato looks like wearing a range of different hats and moustaches.”