The Prime Minister has announced that the Australian Census will be replaced by episodes of Family Feud. ‘I have two words for you,’ said Mr. Abbott rearranging deck chairs. ‘Survey Says!’ The Prime Minister has stated that the 104 year… Read More ›
John Cahill
Tony Abbott To Send Malcolm Turnbull To Mars
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has secretly entered Communcations Minister Malcolm Turnbull into the final shortlist of 100 people to go on the first manned mission to Mars. Insiders say that Mr Turnbull wasn’t consulted. “That’s not exactly true,” the prime minister… Read More ›
Weekend (un)Australian: Qantas To Crack Down On Ugly People
Qantas has warned that it is about to get tough on ugly people who try to enter any of its airport business lounges. From April 1, lounge managers will exercise their right to refuse entry to those who don’t meet minimum standards of… Read More ›
My Submarine Rules: Defence Minister Launches New TV Show
On day five of its Good Government initiative, the federal government has announced its entry into the reality television market, launching a new show with Channel 7 this Sunday night called My Submarine Rules. As the name suggests, the show… Read More ›
I Still Call Australia Europe
After the confusion of winning The Asian Cup, Australia woke up yesterday to the news that it was all an act and is actually still part of Europe. Austria discovered the mistake and rectified the error immediately. ‘We have put Greece… Read More ›
Denial : The New Fragrance By Tony Abbott
The Prime Minister is a launching a new fragrance for the discerning voter. DENIAL is described as being the very essence of the Prime Minister. ‘An Eau de toilette for when you’re life is down the toilet,’ said Gloria Jenkins… Read More ›
