Officials from the Australian Border Force and the American ICE have confirmed that their entire policy on refugees seeking to enter the country is still based on that one scene from the 1983 movie “Scarface” where Tony Montana lies his… Read More ›
potato
Dutton Offers Family Visas To South African Potato Farmers
Immigration Minister and aspiring super villain Peter Dutton has reached out to South African potato farmers with an offer of a family visa in an effort to aide their move to Australia. “The thought of those poor white farmers suffering… Read More ›
Dutton’s New Super Security Department To Target Smiths Chips, Seagulls and Gobbledoks
The makers of Smiths Chips have gone into hiding following the appointment of Peter Dutton as the head of Australia’s new super Home Affairs security ministry. “ISIS, the mafia and Russian spies will no longer be Australia’s main security concern,”… Read More ›
Peter Dutton Does Not Care About People Who Don’t Like Potatoes
Minister for Immigration and aspiring super villain, Peter Dutton sat down with The (un)Australian for a profile piece where he talked about his hopes, dreams and indifference towards people who don’t like potatoes. The Minister said of people’s food tastes: “Look Australia… Read More ›
“Letting My Ancestors Into The Country Was A Bad Mistake,” Says Peter Dutton
Australia is still paying the price for whoever the knucklehead was who let my ancestors into the country, admitted Peter Dutton in a candid speech to parliament yesterday. “Imagine how much better Australia’s standing in the world would be if… Read More ›
