Dr Peter Hollingworth has apologised on behalf of the Anglican church to a generation of children who grew up forced to listen to acoustic guitar players singing cool soft rock gospel songs. Speaking to the Royal Commission into Born Again… Read More ›
royal commission
Cardinal Pell May Miss Royal Commission Hearing Due To Bout Of ‘Justicitis’
“George is feeling pretty unwell and not really up to flying to Australia for your hearing,” Cardinal George Pell’s doctor has written in a letter to the Royal Commission Into Child Sexual Abuse. Although the exact details of Pell’s illness… Read More ›
Dyson Heydon Delighted To Be Informed About Invention Of The Horseless Carriage
Trade union royal commissioner Dyson Heydon said that while the horseless carriage would be a very handy device for transporting him to and from the TURC, he would continue to travel to work on his pony trap for the time… Read More ›
Royal Commissioner Dyson Hayden Reveals ‘I’m Tony Abbott’s Biological Father’
Dyson Hayden, the former high court judge in charge of the Royal Commission into Trade Union Corruption, has revealed that in addition to accepting an invitation to a Liberal Party fundraiser and having links to the Liberal Party, he is… Read More ›
Satan Cancels Planned Appearance At Liberal Party Fundraiser
Satan, or Beelzebub as he’s also known, has cancelled his planned appearance at a Liberal party fundraiser citing a potential conflict of interest. A spokesperson for Satan told The (un)Australian: “Look, Satan booked the appearance months ago through Bronwyn Bishop’s chief of… Read More ›
Royal Commission Shocked To Find Entirely Abuse-Free Private School
The Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse has been rocked by allegations an exclusive boarding school operated for more than 100 years without physically or psychologically harming any of the children in its care. The name of the college… Read More ›