Malcolm Turnbull has been spotted staggering away from a Queanbeyan abattoir with a dripping sack of offal over his shoulder during his weekly visit to gather food for the Far Right that lives in his basement. “He’s obviously terrified of… Read More ›
Tony Abbott
Dutton’s New Super Security Department To Target Smiths Chips, Seagulls and Gobbledoks
The makers of Smiths Chips have gone into hiding following the appointment of Peter Dutton as the head of Australia’s new super Home Affairs security ministry. “ISIS, the mafia and Russian spies will no longer be Australia’s main security concern,”… Read More ›
Tony Abbott To Train In Jeff Horn’s Camp For Upcoming Fight
Aspiring Opposition leader and former boxer Tony Abbott has announced that he will be training in the same camp as newly crowned boxing champion Jeffrey Horn. Mr Abbott will be training with Horn in preparation for his highly anticipated next… Read More ›
Pope Shuffles Cardinal Pell To Quieter Vatican Out In The Country
The Pope has dealt with sexual assault allegations against George Pell the traditional way by moving the cardinal to a different Vatican hundreds of kilometers away and extracting a promise that he would never be charged with sexual assault again…. Read More ›
Bill Shorten Appoints Stephen Bradbury As Campaign Manager
Leader of the Labor party Bill Shorten has announced that he has appointed former Winter Olympics gold medallist Stephen Bradbury as his campaign manager in the lead up to the next federal election. Stephen Bradbury spoke to The (un)Australian about… Read More ›
Andrew Bolt Calls For Christopher Pyne To Be Hung For Treason
Conservative commentator and founder of the Tony Abbott fan club, Andrew Bolt has demanded that Junior Minister for Defence, Christopher Pyne be hung for treason. The call comes after a recording of Minister Pyne has emerged where he claimed marriage… Read More ›