Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has ordered the press to report on his latest energy idea of making sure the country is fueled entirely by hate. ”I was sitting at home one night slowly strangling a puppy when… Read More ›
Voldemort
Dutton Claims Chernobyl’s Thriving Tourism Business Proof Australia Needs A Nuclear Industry
Australian Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has called on Australia to go nuclear in order to boost the tourism industry, after hearing the news that the Chernobyl nuclear site was seeing a boom in tourism. ”Anthony Albanese needs… Read More ›
Dutton Reminds Those Considering A #LibSpill That He Knows Where They Live
Australian Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has reminded his colleagues whom might be considering a #LibSpill that he knows where they live and is willing to do whatever it takes to hold onto power. ”Let’s be honest, Peter’s… Read More ›
Dutton Tells 4 Corners Producers He’ll Release Their Loved Ones Once He Sees The Ratings
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has told the producers of ABC’s 4 Corners that he will release their loved ones from captivity the moment he sees the ratings for last night’s show. ”It won’t be too long now… Read More ›
ABC’s 4 Corners To Profile Opposition Leader Lord Voldemort
The ABC will tonight air a deep dive into Australian Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton on their flagship A Current Affairs program, 4 Corners. ”Tonight we are hoping to find out what’s really behind the man, who’s allegedly… Read More ›
Dutton Calls On Chinese Checkers To Be Renamed Freedom Checkers
The Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has called upon the popular board game Chinese Checkers to be renamed ‘Freedom Checkers’ in an effort to punish China for the ongoing animosity between the two counntries. ”I am appalled that… Read More ›