Dutton Reminds Those Considering A #LibSpill That He Knows Where They Live

Australian Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has reminded his colleagues whom might be considering a #LibSpill that he knows where they live and is willing to do whatever it takes to hold onto power.

”Let’s be honest, Peter’s opinion polls are diabolically low and people are starting to have a chat about perhaps changing things up a bit,” said a Coalition Spokesperson. ”Having fought to get to the top of the dung pile the Dark Lord will do all he can to defend his job.”

”If that means threatening a few people here, or taking a loved one hostage there, then so be it.”

When asked if the party really felt that Dutton had any chance at all of beating Anthony Albanese at the next election, the Coalition Spokesperson said: ”Stranger things have happened, after all we got Abbott over the line didn’t we?”

”The next election is a while off and we left an awful lot of mess for Albo to clean up.”

”So, who knows, Prime Minister Peter Dutton, sorry I can’t say that whilst keeping a straight face.”

”Prime Minister Angus…yeah, nah, that’s not gonna happen.”

Mark Williamson


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