Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has been struck down with a throbbing pain emanating from the scar on his forehead, an indication that the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has returned to Canberra from his latest overseas jaunt. ”Albo knew straight away… Read More ›
Voldemort
Dutton Sends Bandt A Basket Of Dead Puppies To Say Thanks For Covering As Opposition Leader
Holidaying Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has sent Greens leader Adam Bandt a gift basket of dead puppies as a thank you after the Greens leader stepped in as Opposition leader over the past week. ”It’s always nice… Read More ›
Dutton Sends Colleagues Holiday Snaps Of Him Shooting A Puppy
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton who is currently holidaying in America has sent his colleagues video footage of him shooting a puppy. ”America is a great place and full of opportunity,” said the Dark Lord. ”Previously I have… Read More ›
Dutton’s Colleagues Relieved To Be Reunited With Their Loved Ones
Following his ascension to leader of the Opposition, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has released his colleagues loved ones from the holding cells in his lair deep in the bowels of Parliament house. ”I’m a big believer in insurance, whether… Read More ›
“Just Call Me The Big C,” Says Dutton In Pitch To Conservative Voters
Aspiring Opposition leader and a man that our Lawyers say does not resemble Lord Voldemort Peter Dutton has told conservative voters that he is one of them and they should refer to him as the Big C. ”A lot of… Read More ›
Man Who Can’t Count To 43 Doesn’t Rule Out Becoming Treasurer
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has been keenly following his colleague Josh Frydenberg’s struggles to retain his seat at the upcoming election, telling his fellow Death Eaters that he’d consider becoming Treasurer should the opportunity arise. ”The Dark Lord has… Read More ›