One Nation’s leading mind (sic) Malcolm Roberts has called upon Australia’s supermarkets to impose limits on the purchases of aluminium foil, to one pack per customer to counter so-called panic buying. “Whilst I am yet to be convinced that this… Read More ›
Woolworths
Local Introvert Feeling Really Positive About Things Right Now
As much of the world follows global News with growing trepidation, one local introvert has expressed just how happy they are at the prospect they’ll not be asked to go anywhere with crowds anytime in the foreseeable future. “This corona… Read More ›
Mob Attacks Cute Puppy For Stealing Toilet Paper
An angry mob has torn apart a cute white Labrador puppy after the animal attempted make off with a length of Kleenex toilet paper. “He may be adorable and fluffy but these are desperate times and every sheet is precious,”… Read More ›
One Nation Offers Up Their Policy Plans To The Nation Should Australia Run Out Of Toilet Paper
Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party has moved to reassure Australia that in the event of the country running out of toilet paper, they will make available to their supporters printed copies of their policies to use in it’s place. “I… Read More ›
Treasurer Urges Struggling Retailers To Diversify And Consider Stocking Toilet Paper
Treasurer Josh Frydenburg has called upon struggling retailers to review their businesses and consider diversifying into more in demand products like hand sanitiser or toilet paper. “I empathise with any businesses currently doing it tough, I really do,” said Treasurer… Read More ›
Toilet Paper Shortage Results In ScoMo Calling In The Army To Guard Engadine Maccas
Prime Minister ScoMo has gone on the attack in the war against the Corona pandemic by calling in the army to guard the toilet paper supply at Engadine Maccas. ”Mine is a proactive Government,”said Prime Minister Scomo. ”When I heard… Read More ›