Malcolm Roberts Calls On Supermarkets To Limit Aluminium Foil Purchases To One Pack Per Person


One Nation’s leading mind (sic) Malcolm Roberts has called upon Australia’s supermarkets to impose limits on the purchases of aluminium foil, to one pack per customer to counter so-called panic buying.

“Whilst I am yet to be convinced that this so-called corona virus pandemic is real, I do know for a fact people are rushing out to purchase supplies,” said Senator Roberts. “Which on one hand is good. As you need to be prepared for when the lizard people will rise.”

“However, a rush on groceries leaves a vital shortage of everyday essentials like aluminium foil.”

“I can’t go out in public without my tin foil hat. How can I protect my thoughts?”

When asked if he was being serious, Senator Roberts replied: “Of course I am being serious. There are a lot of people out there who are constantly trying to get inside my head.”

“Without an aluminium foil hat they may be successful.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m off to my secret bunker to wait out the impending apocalypse.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Science

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