The coronavirus crisis has forced Australia’s Apprenticeship Ambassador Scott Cam to carry out his duties of doing stuff all from the safety of his own home.

“I’ve gone into lockdown and will have to find a way to do two thirds of bugger all whilst cooped up inside my living room,” admitted our highly paid apprentice diplomat. “It’s going to be hard because there are plenty of distractions around the old house that could divert me from my task of doing sweet fanny adams.”

“I noticed Scott working on some decking when he should have been sitting around on his fat arse doing zippity-fuck,” said Cam’s next door neighbour Bill Paling. “One time I heard some tapping and there was Scotty at the window holding up a piece of cardboard with “Hey, get an apprenticeship they’re ace” written on it. That was probably about fifty grand’s worth of work from home right there.”

Cam may even continue to do stuff all work from home when the coronavirus crisis has passed.

“I could really get used to this working from home caper,” he reported from his sofa. “I put in about four solid hours of faffing around this morning, which is way more nothing than I usually achieve when I try to not work from the office.”

Kristin Boesenberg and Peter Green

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Tags: ambassador, Apprentice, auspol, carpentry, Covid-19.Corona, Home, Pandemic, Scomo, Scott Morrison, Scotty Cam, Scotty From Marketing, sweet fa, The Block, work