Following the recent spate of needles being found in strawberries and other assorted fruits the Minister for the Home Affairs Peter Dutton has announced as a preventative measure that anyone caught tampering with a potato will be put to death…. Read More ›
Men throughout Australia are continuing to investigate what might the purpose be of the mysterious pointy metallic objects that keep being found inside strawberries. “It’s a shortish sliver of steel with a hole at end that tapers to a quite… Read More ›
Despite clear night skies for Saturday’s total lunar eclipse, NSW South Coast residents had their viewing interrupted when a man lost his shit while trying to collapse a folding camping chair. Dozens of camera tripods belonging to amateur astronomers were… Read More ›
A thrifty psychopathic Woolworths shopper with a pathological hatred of dolphins believes that a 15 cent plastic bag that he has found is the bargain of a lifetime. “The last time I choked a dolphin in person I had to… Read More ›
Plastic bag enthusiast Andrew Bolt has called on the Government to consider burning green bags as an alternate energy source as part of the upcoming National Energy guarantee. “What use are green bags,” said Andrew Bolt. “If like me you… Read More ›
Billions of salmonella germs have waged protests in petri dishes across the country after learning that the plastic bag ban may lead them to make contact with the skin of opinion writer Andrew Bolt. “‘Most of us are decent, hard… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 