The NSW Government fresh off privatising their bus services despite going to an election earlier this year saying they would not, has now announced their latest splash for cash with a plan to privatise the State’s citizens. “If we want… Read More ›
Woolworths
Coles Announces New Set Of Anti-Terror Minis
Cole’s supermarkets have announced that it would be adding a new selection to its already popular plastic crap minis range. Coles Spokesperson Richard Slicker told the (un)Australian: “Off the back of the recent attack in Sydney, people have been clamouring to protect their… Read More ›
Australian Dairy Industry Begs Protesters To Throw Milkshakes Not Eggs At Nigel Farage
The Australian dairy industry has passionately pleaded with protesters to go with milkshakes instead of eggs when they protest UK Right wing ‘voice’ Nigel Farage’s visit to Australia next week. “This is not a political thing for us we just… Read More ›
Shrinking Wagon Wheels Prove The Universe Is Contracting, Say Physicists
The shrinking size of Wagon Wheels is proof that the universe has stopped expanding, according to Nobel Prize winning physicists working at the Hadron Collider. “Judging by the relative width and thickness of Wagon Wheels, we speculate that the universe… Read More ›
Dutton Announces The Death Penalty For Anyone Who Tampers With A Potato
Following the recent spate of needles being found in strawberries and other assorted fruits the Minister for the Home Affairs Peter Dutton has announced as a preventative measure that anyone caught tampering with a potato will be put to death…. Read More ›
Australian Males Baffled By Purpose Of Strange Object Found In Strawberries
Men throughout Australia are continuing to investigate what might the purpose be of the mysterious pointy metallic objects that keep being found inside strawberries. “It’s a shortish sliver of steel with a hole at end that tapers to a quite… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 