“18 Year-Old Burqa Wearing Alcoholic Abortionists Public Enemy Number 1”: Fred Nile


Politician, selfie-enthusiast and beret wearer Fred Nile has declared this week that 18-year-old burqa wearing alcoholic abortionists are public enemy number one in the state of New South Wales and has called on the Government to legislate accordingly.

Nile currently holds the balance of power in the state of NSW and the Government will be relying on him to pass legislation. Previously the Government had relied on the nut-jobs from the Shooters and Fishers party to pass legislation.

A spokesperson for Fred Nile spoke to The (un)Australian about Fred’s concerns saying, “Fred is a very well read man with his finger well and truly on the pulse, he is concerned about 18-year-old burka wearing alcoholic abortionists being a threat to not only society but also the Anzacs, so he is going to do his best to fight this scourge not on the beaches but in the upper house.”

When contacted the Premier’s office initially sighed when Nile’s name was mentioned before going on to say, “It could have been worse old Fred could have called for a return of stoning sinners, as bizarre as he is it’s easier than having to deal with the gun-toting shooters party, I mean last time they wanted us to allow shooting in national parks, unbelievable.”

Fred Nile when not in parliament will be patrolling the city on the look out for 19 year old burka wearing alcoholic abortionists and has warned if he see’s one he won’t hesitate to take a selfie and tweet about it.

Mark Williamson


Categories: Politics

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