Australia To Declare War Against San Francisco Over Jarryd Hayne


The Prime Minister of Australia Malcolm Turnbull has met with American President Barack Obama at the G20 to declare his country’s intentions to declare war against the Californian city of San Francisco over their snubbing of star athlete Jarryd Hayne.

Relationships between Australia and San Francisco had reached a high point earlier this year when former rugby league convert Hayne was selected to play for the city’s NFL team, the 49ers. Combined with a successful Australian tour by the team behind the San Francisco-based TV show Mythbusters,  the development spurred on talk of potential sister city relationships with Australian cities.

However, the relationship soured when Hayne was cut from the team. The former NRL star has since been signed to their practice team.

Australian sports tragic Norm ‘Bluey’ Swanson spoke to The (un)Australian about the country’s outrage, saying: “Mate it’s not on, you know what I mean? Jarryd Hayne is a bloody legend and for those blokes to drop him is just a kick in the guts!

“I mean we’ve put up with a lot over the years, we tolerated those two ponces from the Mythbusting show, the least they can do is pick Hayne to play.”

Australia is expected to invade San Francisco later in the year with an onslaught of NRL teams on pre-season bonding trips leading the charge. From there the big guns are expected to be deployed with Australian tourists being re-routed from Bali to San Francisco.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Sport

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