The (un)Australian’s Person Of The Year

 

The (un)Australian‘s Person of the Year award is one of the most anticipated events of the year, with defamation lawyers everywhere waiting in anticipation. This year Team (un)Australian spent weeks/months/all year putting off putting together the list and have come up with the most comprehensive list compiled since Buzzfeed Australia’s list of 17 Amazing Emma Watson Gifs You Need Right Now.

Be sure to vote in our poll and if you disagree with our list of nominees, then please leave a comment below with your nomination. So without further ado, here is this year’s nominees:

Peta Credlin

They say behind every great man is a woman to blame when the great man does something stupid, like knight a prince. 2015 was the year that Peta Credlin really came to the fore as the whipping person for Team Australia.

Credited with taking Abbott all the way to the Prime Minister’s office, she made sure he didn’t do anything too stupid on the campaign trail. Her fortunes changed once he made it into office and then started doing some really stupid stuff like eating a raw onion   .

When Abbott fell, Credlin fell with him, along with Joe Hockey and shares in onion farms. While Hockey has been banished to America, where Credlin ends up is anyone’s guess, though more than likely it will be a column for the News Corp papers and guest spots on The Bolt Report.

That Guy Who Doesn’t Care About Star Wars

In a world filled with ISIS, the campaign for the Republican nomination, and a potential sixth season of Offspring, it’s become increasingly rare to witness the birth of modern day heroes.

How refreshing is it to see then, dropping so late in the game like a Beyonce album, a true hero for 2015. That guy who doesn’t care about Star Wars is not the hero we wanted, that’s where he gains all his strength from.

With the rise of the internet and today’s mono culture, opposing opinions are to be feared and silenced, rather than to be lionised as the iconoclastic thoughts of a true free thinker. Thank G-d for that guy who doesn’t care about Star Wars. No, he isn’t going to the new Star Wars. No he’s never seen Empire Strikes Back. And no, he’s not going to be silent about it. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, and not at your niece’s Christening.

Angela Merkel

This year saw Angela Merkel named Time magazine’s person of the year, becoming the first German leader to receive the award since Hitler in 1938*.

Merkel was admired this year for her leadership during the Greek debt crisis and the Syrian refugee crisis. An example of how well she handled the Greek debt crisis and how far German leaders have come since Hitler comes from this exchange with a Greek customs official.

Customs Official: “Name?”

Angela Merkel: “Angela Merkel.”

Customs Official: “Occupation?”

Angela Merkel:  “No, just visiting.”

*Sure two West German Chancellors have won the award since Hitler, but why let technicalities get in the way of a good joke.

Ronda Rousey

2015 was a big year for UFC fighter Ronda Rousey she was everywhere — magazine shoots, TV show appearances, movies (yes it was only the Entourage movie but still) and she even had a book written about her. Seemingly the only place Rousey didn’t appear was in the training ring.

She headlined the largest ever show in UFC history and with her subsequent loss to Holly Holm. Millions of people worldwide watched this inspirational athlete on her back being pounded after being taken by surprise.

Where to next for Rousey? A rematch with Holm has the potential to be the highest grossing fight of all time with commentators already billing it “two girls, one ring”.

Narcissus

For a dude who last made the headlines thousands of years ago for staring at himself in a pond he’s made a big impact on 2015. His spirit lives on in the antics of Donald Trump, Kaitlyn Jenner, Kim and Kanye, Salim Mehajer, bachelors and bachelorettes, Kevin Rudd and everyone who spent the year in denial of their inherent mediocrity and spent the year jumping up and down shouting look at me look at me.

Bill Shorten

Opposition leader Bill Shorten declared 2015 “the year of ideas”. The idea that by the end of the year Malcolm Turnbull would be leading the country and not Tony Abbott was probably one that woke Bill up in the middle of the night screaming.

On the ideas front, Bill this year thought it a good idea to text while driving in what he described as, “a great initiative to help raise much needed revenue for the country”, after he was fined.

Mr Shorten was very much in demand this year, appearing twice at the Royal Commission and with next year being an election year, some are already tipping “Mr 15% approval rating” to conduct a farewell tour of the country.

Bronwyn Bishop

2015 left Australia with a sense of “what might have been” if only Bronwyn Bishop had not been pipped by Alexander Downer in her 1994 challenge for the Liberal Leadership. While Bishop’s time as Speaker of the House of Representatives will be best remembered for her chartering a $5000 helicopter ride to a Liberal Party fundraiser, this only scrapes the surface of her rich and dazzling time in the Speakers Chair.

Whether she was suspending members from parliament for laughing or holding fundraising functions in her taxpayer funded Speaker’s chambers, Bishop redefined the role of Speaker in a way not seen since the previous parliament when Peter Slipper took to the chair. It is with great sadness we see the career end of the woman who was once touted as destined to become Australia’s first female Prime Minister.

Nick Kyrgios

The acid-tongued tennis prodigy did the impossible in 2015 when he drove Shane Warne to espouse the virtues of good graces and courtesy. Following in the footsteps of fellow bratty tennis prodigies Mark Philippoussis, Lleyton Hewitt and Bernard Tomic, Kyrgios turned the tennis world on its head with his flagrant disregard of basic decency.

With Lleyton Hewitt set to retire, 2016 promises an epic showdown as Kyrgios and Tomic compete for the title of Tennis Australia’s Greatest ‘Problem child.’

Rebecca Wilson

They said it couldn’t be done, but The Daily Telegraph sports journalist and drink driving specialist Rebecca Wilson did it. Her front page hit piece publishing the confidential names and photos of 198 “banned” soccer fans, causing at least one to lose their job, saw A-League fans take rare time out from singing obscene chants about their opponents’ mothers and having sporadic brawls outside pubs to unite in what was likely the country’s largest-ever fan protests.

That her article came just days before a report found the SCG Trust on the top 10 list of violent venues in the state, with soccer coming last in the list of “violent incidents” per sport, may be seen as hypocritical. But it pales before the sight of a foaming-at-the-mouth repeat drink driving offender claiming the high moral ground to warn parents of the “dangers” of soccer matches — presumably because a drunk Wilson might smash into their car on the way home.

Donald Trump

The walking hair piece and Republican presidential candidate has not just made primary school bullying suddenly seem sophisticated, he has managed render Godwin’s Law irrelevant. Godwin’s Law states that Internet debates will inevitably degenerate into Nazi comparisons — a concept without much meaning when Trump proposes to not just ban all Muslim migration to the US, but make Muslim-Americans wear symbols for public identification.

With Trump publicly stating he was “not worried” about comparisons Adolf Hitler, those seeking to make hyperbolic comparisons to the Nazis to win social media arguments have been left with nowhere to go, causing many to shut up for the first time since they opened their Facebook accounts in 2008. Trump rounded off a great year by becoming the first person to ever go viral for saying the word “China”.

 

On behalf of #TeamUnAustralia thank you for visiting the site and have a great festive season, we will be back Jan 4th with the all the best news, analysis and plagiarism. Thanks for reading.



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