The latest rumour to do the rounds of the school yard is that Lyle Shelton, head of the Australian Christian Lobby, is gay.
It was said that the rumour originated after Mr Shelton participated in a debate and gave his reason for being against marriage equality as: “People might think I’m gay.”
Little Kyle Smith, 12, when asked on the swing set what he knew about Mr Shelton told The (un)Australian: “Yeah I heard he’s gay, you know it’s like they say those who smelt it dealt it and those that denied it supplied it, so you know, but who cares anyway, you love who you love.”
When contacted by The (un)Australian on the rumour, Shelton replied: “Am not you are, go away, I’m telling my Uncle Tony and he’ll bash you!”
A plebiscite into marriage equality will be held after the next election should the coalition win. Should Australia say yes to marriage equality Mr Shelton plans to cover his ears and shout, “La la la, not listening to you, la, la, la.”