Liberal Senator and self-proclaimed champion for common sense Cory Bernardi, has demanded a senate inquiry into sliced bread, accusing the food product of being driven by sinister motives.
A spokesperson for Senator Bernardi told The (un)Australian: “Cory is very concerned about sliced bread as the other day he overheard someone in the shops describe a jar of hummus as the best thing since sliced bread.”
“I mean hummus being linked to sliced bread, it’s how the terrorists win and the homosexuals inflict their agenda on us, now please if this interview is to continue I need you to don this tin foil hat.”
Senator Bernardi has a long history of calling for inquiries into things he doesn’t like or understand, such as halal certification, the Safe Schools anti-bullying initiative and common human decency.
No word yet on whether Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull will approve Bernardi’s latest request for an inquiry. However, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott winked at us when we asked whether he’d approve the request should he ever be Prime Minister again.