The Prime Minister of Australia Malcolm Turnbull has sent the Australian Senate to its room and banned it from watching television for two weeks after he perceived its behaviour to be rather naughty.

Explaining the move to The (un)Australian, the Prime Minister said: “The Senate has been very naughty and like all good Daddies, sometimes you have to deal out a bit of discipline. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them, just that I’m very disappointed in them.”

Responding to Mr Turnbull, Senator Jacqui Lambie was none too impressed, saying: “He can’t tell me what to do, he’s not my Dad, it’s not fair, I’m a big girl and I do what I want, I’ll watch television if I want to and I’ll eat ice cream for dinner too. He can’t stop me.”

When told of Ms Lambie’s comments the Prime Minister responded: “If Jacqui wants to speak like that then she is heading towards a spanking, or maybe I’ll even change the voting laws and make it harder for her to be elected.”

The Senate will be locked in their room until July 2, where if their behaviour doesn’t improve they’ll be told to get a haircut and a new job.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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Categories: Politics

Tags: ABCC, auspol, Double Dissolution, Election, Jacqui Lambie, Malcolm Turnbull, MW, Sydney Comedy Festival, The unAustralian, Tony Abbott