Former Prime Minister and self-professed ‘stopper of boats’ Tony Abbott has declared that he will contest the next federal election to ensure that he is in parliament to help stop the scourge that is Boaty McBoatface.
Mr Abbott speaking to The (un)Australian said: “Boaty McBoatface is potentially the greatest threat that Australia has ever faced. I mean people know that I stopped the boats and axed the tax, so what do they do, they create bigger boats with fancier names.”
“The people of Australia can rest assured that I will assemble a crack team of some of the finest minds this country has seen, Abetz, Bernardi, Christensen to name a few and together we will stop Boaty McBoatface and make Australia great again.”
When reached for comment current Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull declined to speak on Boaty McBoatface, which Mr Abbott took as a sign that Malcolm wasn’t taking the issue or Mr Abbott seriously. Much like the rest of Australia.