Wyatt Roy Stoked He Doesn’t Have To Wait Six Months To Claim The Dole

Headquarters of the No Tonys Allowed club.

Former MP Wyatt Roy, fresh from losing his seat at the elections, has today revealed that he is ‘stoked’ not to have to wait six months before being eligible for the dole.

Speaking to The (un)Australian, Mr Roy said: “Oh mate when I lost my seat I was gutted and thought what am I going to do? I don’t want to move back home with my folks, sure I could crash with a mate for a few months, but the only offer I’ve had so far was from Christopher Pyne and he’s too much of a nerd for my liking.

“But now with the dole rolling in, I can take my time, and keep my sweet bachelor pad for a few more months till some work rolls in.”

When asked what the future holds for him, Mr Roy was reflective, saying: “Oh you know I’ve got a big year ahead of me, Schoolies in November and my old boss Malcolm said he might have an internship for me, so you know everything’s coming up Wyatt.”

Mr Roy also gave a shout out to his former colleagues, Jacqui Lambie, Glenn Lazarus and the rest of the Senate crossbenchers for stopping the government’s plans to make those under 30 wait six months before claiming the dole, saying: “Cheers dudes, next time you’re in my patch of Queensland I owe you a Bacardi Breezer or three.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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