Hanson Attacks New Threat Of Elderly Extremists


Newly elected Senator and terrorism expert Pauline Hanson has warned of the threat posed by elderly extremists (EEs) after a man in his 60s set his car on fire in a bid to blow up the ironically named Merrylands Police Station.

In a stunning rebuke to current policy, Ms Hanson, called for the immediate return of the EEs to the bowling clubs from whence they came.

According to Ms Hanson, many of the elderly are being radicalised. Early warning signs include driving slowly in the fast lane and driving with blinkers flashing although they have no intention of actually turning.

Many of the elderly are deliberately attempting to avoid relocation by attempting to disguise themselves using Botox and plastic surgery. One EE was recently heard saying, “Where am I? Who is this? Why don’t you ever call?” to appear harmless to outsiders.

To further avoid suspicion meetings are held in public places but at unusual times. A prime example is in restaurants during the Early Bird specials. Octogenarian Bob “Geezer” Johnson articulated, “No one else eats dinner at 4:30. Where am I?”

Asked how to solve the problem, Ms Hanson suggested that, “as opposed to immigration, one only has to wait and the problem will solve itself.”

Peter Meisel

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Categories: News

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