Attorney-General George Brandis has today issued a statement announcing that the coffee table in his office has offered its resignation. The resignation, which Mr Brandis has accepted, follows repeated clashes between the table and the Attorney-General’s bookshelf.
Speaking to The (un)Australian, coffee table was scathing of it treatment, saying: “I was a big part of that office until George’s high-price bookshelves arrived. I used to be the focal point at meetings and I carried my fair share but all anybody wanted to talk about was the bookshelf.”
“Things came to a head when Mr Brandis said that all press conferences would be held in front of the bookshelf rather than around me, the coffee table, at that point I felt our working relationship was untenable.”
On what was next for it, the table replied: “Well there is an opening for a coffee table in Tony Abbott’s office and Sky news has offered me a spot as a panellist on The Bolt Report, so I’ll take my time maybe knock out a memoir and see where I land.
Senator Brandis was unavailable for comment as he was busy shopping for tables at IKEA.