Australian Cricket Selectors Lead Backlash Against The Elites


The selectors for the Australian cricket team have marched to the forefront of a worldwide rejection of the so called “elites” by maintaining a policy of refusing to select any elite sportsmen.

“The US election has shown that people no longer want anyone who knows what the heck they’re doing holding any position of responsibility,” said chairman of selectors Rod Marsh. “The Australian cricket team has been following suit by refusing to select any player who knows anything at all about how to play cricket.”

“I read somewhere that Don Bradman practised for hours trying to hit a golf ball with a cricket stump and I thought stuff that for a joke,” said opening batsman Joe Burns. “My training regime consists of trying to hit a beach ball with a banjo for five minutes a day and even then I miss most of the time.”

Cricket Australia has received a message of congratulations from Donald Trump himself over their rejection of anyone showing an ounce of competence.

“Wow. South Africa persisting on picking batsman who can bat and bowlers who can bowl. Sad,” wrote the President elect in a late night tweet. “Select me Australia. No-one plays cricket better than me. My great grandfather Victor Trump was the best.”

Peter Green

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Categories: Sport

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