Second-Homeless Set Up Camp In Mosman Town Square

A group of underprivileged Mosman residents who only own one home have set up a luxury campervan city in the town square demanding the council provides more affordable holiday homes.

“Not all of us have complicated trust fund arrangements or are married to CEOs pulling in $4.5 million a year you know darling,” said camp organiser Melody Veuve-Bollinger. “My hubby is a lowly cosmetic surgeon on a scant one mil per annum, and we are forced to share our one harbourside dwelling with, urgh, our kids.”

“We’ve offered them perfectly good alternative weekenders at Collaroy but they refuse to take vacations anywhere south of Bilgola Beach,” said embattled mayor Hamish Rahrah-Scrum. “We may have to forcibly clear the site using Chanel scented tear gas if they don’t move on.”

The amount of second-homeless in Mosman has risen sharply in recent months due to hikes in the price of cocaine and a downturn in the construction of penthouse apartments in Surfers Paradise.

“The sight of all those RVs parked in the town square makes me feel uncomfortable,” said Premier Gladys Berejiklian. “Some of those vehicles only have one television set in them. God forbid that the whole family is being forced to sit together watching the same show.”

Peter Green

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