The Australian Government has announced that following the Senate’s decision to block a planned marriage equality plebiscite it will circumvent the Senate and hold a non-binding postal plebiscite. In completely unrelated news they also announced that funding for Australia post will be cut by 40%.
A Government spokesperson discussed the announcements with The (un)Australian, saying: “We have listened to the people and we know that they want us to act on Marriage Equality, so we will hold a postal plebiscite which will once and for all decide the issue.”
When asked whether the planned cuts to Australia Post would affect the plebiscite the spokesperson said: “Absolutely not, the cuts are minor and will simply mean letter deliveries will change from being daily to biannually.”
“Meaning that the Turnbull Government should have the plebiscite results by the year 2050 at which point we can legislate on marriage equality.”
It was put to the spokesperson that 2050 was a long way off to which they replied: “Well it could be worse I mean how long did it take the Government to apologise to the Aboriginal people.”