Tony Abbott has landed in Harare for the start of a short tour of Zimbabwe where he hopes to learn more about the East African nation’s model for changing the head of the government.
“As a Rhodes scholar I’ve always had a soft spot for Rhodesia or as the coloured chappies like to call it in their speak “Zimbabwe” and I’m dead keen on how they’ve handled the transition from one leader to the next,” said Mr Abbott as he looked on approvingly at tanks rolling through the streets of the capital. “So should a wildly unpopular leader just happen to find himself looking at the business end of a gun or two whilst a much more popular but recently sacked member of the same party should happen to pop up on the government TV station declaring himself to be in charge, change can be effected. Interesting.”
“Why as a matter of fact we have had overtures from Tony Abbott expressing interest in lifting his self imposed ban on appearing on Q & A,” said ABC managing director Michelle Guthrie. “Having Tony back on the show as a guest would be a real coup for us.”
“I’ve already sent a message of condolence to Malcolm Mugabe, sorry Robert Mugabe, expressing how sad I am that he seems to be out of a job,” said Mr Abbott. “I have to go to the markets now to buy a wedding present for my daughter. Have you seen the photo of that bloke? What sort of loon sends out shots of himself without his shirt on? He is a bloke isn’t he? Good, just checking.”